Love's Lost Gaurentee

[STATS: dress: Urban Outfitters cardi: Anthropologie tights: Macy's flats: UO Alice Necklace: Local MN Boutique]

Last night I found myself curled up on the couch eating Cherry Garcia ice cream and watching "When Harry Met Sally." No, my boyfriend did not just breakup with me hence the need for a sugar coma and sap, I would actually need to have a boyfriend in the first place for that! But it was one of those nights when everyone was busy so I resigned myself to the fact that I would have make do with film characters for company.

However as much as I laughed at snarky Harry and uptight Sally, I realized something fundamentally missing from my life, straight men. Yes, I am single, but that's not exactly what I mean. There are no men to even consider dating in my life. No one to ignore passes from, to blatantly reject or on the opposite side of the spectrum to keep my eye on, to pursue. Because what it boils down to is three types of men at my college:

1. "The Brah"- The attractiveness of a girl this boy likes only increases with the number of beers he drinks. Although the difference between the girl and the beer is negligible, both will leave him with a headache and regrets the next morning. After getting up at 2pm the next day, he won't even remember what type of beer he drank or even the hair color of the girl he just slept with. A week later he will be buy another six pack and hit on another six girls.

2. "The Boyfriend"- He and Mary-Beth have been dating since age 16. Highschool sweethearts who coo sickeningly sweet nothings over the phone, refuse to display a profile picture on Facebook that does not include each other, and pop in for surprise weekend visits to the dismay of their newly sexiled roommate. These guys are so overly affectionate you wonder if they are overcompensating due to the presence of many other available girls they cannot hook up with because Mary-Beth is wearing a locket with their photo in it on her neck.

3. "The Gay Best Friend"- Supposedly every girl wants a GBF to discuss dating advice, new trends, and chick flicks with. I personally do not understand the need to specifically pick your friends based on sexuality, if you are friends with me and happen to be gay, whatever, but I will never seek a guy out just for his sexuality and all that culturally entails. There is no need to search for the GBF at my college though for there are more gay men than straight men. Maybe its the fact that college is a time of experimentation or maybe it's the city location, after all a boy questioning his sexuality is more likely to blend in at a big city school than a rural college. But I find my first thought when I meet a boy is "Are you straight?" I find myself searching out for scruffier men than I usually care for or athletes, just to hopefully narrow down the possibility of his sexuality. Exacerbating the problem is that many men can be double agents. My openly gay friend Daniel secretly dated a boy who claimed to be straight in public, but hooked up with him behind closed doors, confusing everyone including Daniel. And out of my three main guy friends, all have ambiguous sexuality...ahh I can't even get a straight male point of view if I tried!

Somehow, despite the lack of options, I see couples on campus! Holding hands after a trip to Trader Joes, eating together at a local restaurant, or kissing in front of their dorms. I don't know any of these people personally, its almost as if they are planted on campus to paranoia me. If there were any single non-sleazy straight men on campus they are all taken now!

My parents claim its my generation's love for hooking up, in & out is not just a burger chain people. My friend Hilly, who also frequently laments the lack of real men on campus, read a book a few years ago on the hook up culture that actually used my college as a casestudy! She failed to put the two together when she received her acceptance letter, but then ironically remembered it after she decided to go here. My friend Sasha is a bit more liberally minded. She's all for hooking up, but does concede that the possibility for that is sparse at my school. She did admit though, the first time she met our friend Justin she actually had to ask him if he was straight due to the extreme ambiguity of my school (for the record he is).

Basically though, there is no chance of meeting my future spouse in college like my parents did. What has happened to our generation? Maybe I can text Cha Cha to find out the answer (HAHA)?

song of the day: "Old Bachelors in Cleavland" by the Foghorns (the guitar in here is really cool)

If You Can't Trust You Can't Be Trusted

[STATS: Blouse: Anthropologie skirt: Anthro tights: H&M flats: Urban Outfitters Alice Necklace: local boutique]

Statements my friends have made recently:

"I'm just going to crash [another college in DC] and see if I meet people there! Because I just realized I don't really like all of my current friends. Last night they smacked me in the face with a pillow, it was rather malicious." -Hilly from the sailing team

"I have only made two real friends here. And I'm worried that if I didn't keep in touch with them they would just forget about me." -my old friend from summer camp, Natalie, who is a freshman at a large state university

"I've been going to all of these random events on campus this week just to avoid my room. I hate being there."- Alex, who lives with 2 of my other guy friends

My Roommate: "Are you going over to Jules's room at 9pm tonight to watch TV?"
Me: "Maybe...why?"
Roomy: "I just really want to watch a movie tonight."

[Okay, we all want alone time and secretly relish those moments when the room is empty for just us to play the music we please and walk around in our underwear for longer than is normal haha, but actually trying to kick me out of the room for that "alone time" is incredibly awkward]

Conclusion:

General dissatisfaction runs rampant at college, but rarely does anyone want to admit it. If we put on a happy face and pretend to everyone that we hug our roommates everyday instead of bicker with them and we never have those moments where we find ourselves seeking out random coffeehouses to loiter instead of sitting all alone in our room, then maybe people will be fooled. And most college students are so self-important and busy that they rarely do detect the charade. The charade apparently works so no one let's their guard down in fear of what it might be like to be vulnerable. I dunno if its the horribly competitive atmosphere of the East Coat/colleges in major cities with intense internships galore that makes us afraid to confide in others, almost as if we are worried that if we say what we honestly feel the confidant will use it against us in the end. Apparently everyone but me thinks this.

In some sense my openness instantly makes me vulnerable. There are very few things that I refuse to share with people (this blog being one of them) because everything I've been through makes me who I am today. The person (me) sitting in front of you is compilation of things you will learn eventually anyway, so why not be upfront? I don't really feel like I have much to hide, if anything discussing things makes me feel better. I think sometimes the frankness throws people off, why am I telling you everything right away? But others let me spew out my thoughts to the point where I fail to realize that this is a one-sided conversation and they are not telling me anything about themselves. It becomes unbalanced, for example, my roomy knows more about me than her. Why did I trust her when she did not trust me? Obviously by now I've given up on her, but she's not the only one who refuses to get close.

As I've mentioned before all of my other friends are equally silent when personal lives come into play. I am starting to leave them behind as well, but as I meet new people from the sailing team and the English department I wonder if I am falling into the same trap as usual? I was very open again with Sasha and Hilly, will they later take advantage of me for it? I hate to be that cynical about friendships, but I've had so many bad experiences previously that now I wonder if I made a mistake being that blunt with two near strangers. But if no one takes the dive and opens up to the other person, will the friendship go anywhere? Is confiding in someone not the last thing you should do in a friendship, but the initial foundation? I'm hoping I can still have faith in humanity and not immediately close myself off to new friends and for once, with Hilly & Sasha, I will not find my honesty abused.

But something just felt so right going to the sailing team dinner last night, discussing "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" over sandwiches. And later on, going to a poetry reading for my job and running into Sasha and Justin. Afterward, Sasha and I headed over to the dive bar on campus and split some cheese sticks. It felt so natural to watch the mozzarella leak out like my thoughts on my current noncommittal friends to Sasha. Her thoughts on them were similar to my friend Katherine from home who goes to school in DC too, "Why hang out with mean friends like that?" I've known Katherine since 6th grade and Sasha for less than a month, but the response was the same. Here, is finally a NICE person, who will listen to me and offer her advice without taking pity on me. Is it so wrong to be open with her or am I falling into the same trap?

song of the day: "When Did the Lights Go Out" by Pixie Carnation (oh I wish I had a car, this would be a great driving song)

My Girls

[Rebecca wonderfully pairs a 60s glam faux fur coat with the beautiful autumnal environment, almost as if Edie got lost in the country]

It's the way she grabbed that coat you've been eyeing all month. It's her willingness to flaunt even the most daring of fashion trends. Or her ability to turn trends into something that looks natural and timeless, as if it was only unearthed from her magical closet that morning after years of sitting in dust. It's her juxtaposition of edgy boots with a frivolous feminine frock. It's her eye for the lurid turned lovely, that supposedly horrible old lady sweater, now the most stylish sweater out there. It's her ability to absorb art, street style, film, literature, and her daily life into an outfit. And a constant drive to always evolve her style.

[Indigo wearing a top that Tangerine initially picked out as over the top, but actually looks fabulously flapper when paired with basics]

These are some of our favorite fashion bloggers out there. The ones that inspire us to buy a pair of boyfriend jeans or pull out our old motorcycle jacket. Who inadvertently influence how we wear our scarf or the latest skirt we buy. This is in part why we turn to the fashion blogosphere to inspire us. And although we all read the same blogs (or if not please feel free to point me in the right direction or vice versa) certain outfits will pop out to all us, these are my current favorites.

[Kater breaking from her usual feminine style to boyfriend jeans, refreshing for both her and the trend which is typically worn too beachy, with her its more Oliver Twist]

I intend to highlight my favorite fashionistas each week, as hopefully a new weekly feature to inspire all of us. Don't worry, it won't always focus on the same women, but hopefully a variety. Enjoy!
[Sally Jane in a wonderfully colorful frock, brightening up a chilly fall day. And her berets always fit so well, and look extra glamorous]
[Frances wearing her beret in a more grunge way and totally playing off of the traditional black and white look in these fantastic ombre tights]

song of the day: "Gideon" by My Morning Jacket (their live versions are almost always better than the original, I would love to see them live! It would be truly epic!)

The Learning Curve

Things I have Learned This Weekend:

1. Some outfits need a belt, such as the one in this post. Now I understand why Cher always took photos of her outfits in "Clueless."

2. Trader Joe's chocolate chip scones make for the perfect start to the day.

3. My friends & I always fail at Halloween. I never have high expectations for the holiday, for me it kind of died when I stopped trick or treating in 8th grade, but still meandering around half the city on Saturday evening with the drunks is more chaotic than cool. We went from the Black Cat nightclub, which was having the lamest dance party ever to my friend Chris's older sister's party. It was pretty amusing to watch "Shirley Temple" do the "She Wolf" dance, but that was the highlight.

4. My cousin, Laura, and I are only friends because we are related. She's always been a nice girl, but we have nothing in common. When she visited this weekend I found myself increasingly irritated as she refused to commit to anything. "Do you want to attend this party, Laura?" "Oh, I dunno. Let's do what you want to do." I'm the one who lives in DC, she was only here for a day and if she did not enjoy herself it's not my fault because she never gave her honest opinion. The only time she was honest with me was a bit brutal. I asked her what she thought of my friends (who I believe were very nice to her overall) she admitted she hated all of them. Two of them (the ones who definitely tried to converse with her) she did not think anything of and one she went as far to say, "I wouldn't hang out with a girl like that." Although Laura & I are fundamentally different, I was a bit offended. [For the record, the reason she loathed my friend was Laura was asking everyone where they were from and forgot to ask my friend Jules, who jokingly retorted, "Aren't you going to ask me where I'm from!?" Laura thought this was "rude" and disliked Jules for the rest of the night...what a ridiculous petty judgment! Does anyone else think this an absurd reason to hate someone? ]

5. Although I will still stand up for my friends when need be, I am definitely still searching for a better group. I had coffee with Sasha (hipster English major from the department party) on Sunday and it went incredibly well. We have enough in common (a love of literature, fashion- she kept encouraging me to read Russian Vogue, and "Mad Men") to start off a nice conversation, but enough differences to keep it interesting. She kept inviting me to hang out the rest of her friends (I think it helped that I've met two of them at that party already) and actually had concrete examples not the vague "oh yea, I'll call you sometime if something happens ever." But "Oh, there's this hilarious concert next week!" or "I'm having a baking party on Wednesday, come over!" She even said how I naturally popped in the conversation the night before, her friend Justin, a charming hipster from the party, kept asking where I was that night. FINALLY PROGRESS!
[STATS: shift: local MN boutique cardi: Anthropologie flats: Urban Outfitters beret: Anthro necklace: banana republic]

song of the day: "Don't Wanna Know Why" by Whiskeytown (even though I'm a Ryan Adams addict, surprisingly I had never listened to his first band, they're quite good! It sounds a lot like his album "Gold." Turns out my sailing team friend Hilly is big Adams junkie too and sent me a few great songs. So yes, besides the English majors the sailing team kids are also awesome!)

You're What Happens When Two Substances Collide

Life is pretty exhausting right now. Don't worry mother, I am getting enough sleep (usually 7-8 hours a night), I'm eating correctly (I think I actually ate TOO many veggies last night ;), and certainly on top of my studies. But the sheer amount of effort it takes to study, blog for English department, and socially coordinate with everyone is slowly sapping the happiness out of me. Its a bit ironic actually, I love my English blogging, I see meeting new friends as something that may take a lot of energy in the beginning, but will eventually pay off big time, but the interim developmental stages definitely makes me a bit cynical and worn out. Needless to say, I did not really have the stamina for the Andrew Bird concert last night. Of course I love all things Mr. Bird, however the idea of standing for four hours wasn't appealing at first.

Boy, was I wrong. Oh so, oh so wrong! That's what I love about concerts, by the time the actual concert comes I'm rather unenthusiastic now knowing the reality of my week that I obviously couldn't predict when I initially purchased the tickets, but then the lights dim, the crowd screams, and Andrew Bird walks out in a full suit and socks haha. And I know I am it the best place I could possibly be and I will not regret this experience, but it will change the tone of my entire month. Simply put, Andrew Bird reinvigorated me. Here were all of these people collectively bonding over their love of this genius, singing along, proposing marriage, generally a delightful crowd that saw Mr. Bird as their king ready to follow him wherever his eccentric mind took us. And he definitely led us the right way.

First off, Bird picked a stellar opening act, St. Vincent. I must admit that Annie Clark has taken awhile to grow on me, but my new love for her was cemented last night. Her ethereal voice is wonderfully warped with harsh guitars and awesome vocal looping. Her guitar playing is like taming a snake, as you watch her snap it back and forth. She may not sound too exciting on her album, but she is truly one of those people you need to see live! And her entire band is phenomenally talented too, how often do you see the drummer, bassist, and clarinet/flute/sax player!?

Its clear that Clark loves touring with Bird, and the love is mutual, for Bird called her and the band out for some of his set, in some of most magical songs of the night (imagine "Scythian Empires" with a 9-person band :). And who wouldn't love Bird (and his cheekbones)? He's like a character out of the film "The Brothers Bloom," in his scruffy suits, with wit and oddball charm oozing from him. Bird navigates the stage while severely squinting, gesticulating with his bow wildly, to the point that one could cynically characterize him as drunk, but really reminded me of a little kid waking up from a dream. Besides, a drunkard could not play that violin and guitar so well and keep track of the the insane amount of instrumental and vocal loops he creates for full effect (I love seeing bands like this live, because you really hear the song come to life). Rather, Bird comes off as a indie music Einstein, clearly innovative and brilliant, just a bit loopy is the best possible way.

And amazingly you can rock out to Bird. Some songs really pop like "Opposite Day" and other songs I would never take notice of actually get the whole crowd bouncing like "Tables & Chairs." Oddly enough, one of the girls in the crowd up front with my friend Andrea (concert buddy extraordinaire!) was my college tourguide, Emma, who convinced me go here! Two years ago we hit it off immediately during the tour when she turned out to be a geeky witty sweet English major. I ran into her only once last year, and she was still endearingly nerdy and nice, rushing off to her Virginia Woolf class and so happy I was her reason for attending my school! So what do you know, I turn around and it's Emma! She recognized me too and then between sets Andrea and I chatted with her and her friend. They are both diehard Bird fans, Emma's from Chicago like Bird, so she's seen him 8 times! But both girls agreed last night was his best show! So not only did we have a fantastic evening, on the list of my best concerts ever, but I have another eventual coffeedate with a new friend, Emma (I meet people in the weirdest places). And for those of you following my social shakeup this semester, Sasha (hipster English major from 2 posts ago) and I are grabbing brunch Sunday, yay progress :)

song of the day: "Tables & Chairs" by Andrew Bird (he pulled out both bands for this one, making it seem like we were all at one big party, which in a sense we were)

Where's Your Heart, Sart?

He is the most coveted man in fashion right now. He decides what's in and what's not. He photographs only those with real style, that natural effortless look whether you are a bum or the editor of French Vogue. He does not intend for you to copy him, but be inspired by him. And even Anna Wintour takes note, for he is the reason that style.com changed the format of their website and that's saying something.

What's one thing you would not expect in testament to the genius of Scott Schuman (aka the Sartorialist, who I used to fondly call the Sart)? He is also an adulterer. Now, normally I would't want to go all moral on you on this blog because it can be a tricky topic that mostly makes me come off as an uninformed idiot, but this isn't any old affair kiddies for he left his wife and children for GARANCE DORE!!

Yes, the street style couple that's too good to be true, because it IS too good to be true. He broke up a perfectly good marriage just so he could be Mr. Hot Shot Fashion Guru. Imagine the power this couple has, not just two incredibly fashionable individuals who know fashion and definitely are taking over and changing the look of the entire fashion world, but now the "it" couple, if they don't photograph you then you mine as well give up and go home. Because there's always strength in numbers, suck it Anna.

Now maybe, you will leave this post going, "Why is it our business who he is or is not dating? He still photographs amazingly chic people, enough said." Good point, but have you ever noticed he always photographs the same "amazing chic people"? So maybe there's a bum here and there, but mostly its the whose who of the fashion industry, they are never just innocent bystanders. Innocent bystanders cannot afford suits that well tailored. If anything his relationship with Garance only highlights his snobbery, his wife and two kids weren't good enough for him, no, he had to get with the next rising star. In some senses it's smart business for him because HE not she is only getting more famous for this affair and thus he's protecting his monopoly on the industry (yes, yes there are hundreds of other street style blogs, but how many do you really read?).

And if you aren't convinced of his douchebaggery just yet, please enjoy the interview from July's Globe and Mail (yes, the affair is kind of old news, but I only realized this week oops and I still think its rather controversial.)

You're still really skinny.
Tell me more about how skinny I am. Do you think I look better with short hair or long? You can tell me about my butt. What do you think? It's nice, right?

What's your weakness when it comes to shooting people?
I have a weakness for surprises. I want to see something I haven't seen. I'm totally ambiguous sexually when it comes to my work. I shoot what I'm attracted to.

What camera do you use?
I use a Canon EOS 5D Mark II. It shoots high-definition video even though I haven't figured out how to do that. But I'm still really good in bed.

You look fit – just not big like a quarterback.
I'm pretty good at the sex. And pretty good at picture taking. That's about it. Garance is pretty happy. And the hotel-room neighbours are pretty pissed. You can write that; that's totally fine with me.

You want people to know you're good in bed?
Yeah. Yeah.

[And if you still think he's an angel, check out his ex's comment on Fashionalogie who broke the story.]

posted by christa schuman

Tue, 03/17/2009 - 7:46am

yes, he was married when the affairt started. since I found out about it we are getting divorced. he let success get to his head and is only satified when someone is worshipping him appropriately. apparently she (and himself) is more importnat than his kids, family - and fame is what drives him. Men suck (especially this one !)

song of the day: "Effigy" by Andrew Bird (seeing him tonight!! cannot wait!)

Elegant clothes you want to be seen with her Under your tweeds you sweat like a teenager

[STATS: blouse: Proenza Schouler for Target, skirt: Anthropologie flats: Urban Outfitters owl necklace: Anthro flower locket: UO]


It is a truth universally acknowledged that all English majors want their life to turn into a novel. If they cannot find the appropriate medium they turn their own life into a novel, through creative writing. Luckily, I have not had to resort to a pen and paper quite yet (although eventually I would like to) for Friday evening my life did turn into one of my favorite novels!

No, sadly my Hogwarts letter has not arrived...yet. But I found myself entering into another fascinating part of academia this weekend, in the form of Michael Chabon's Wonder Boys. Chabon's second novel (also my second favorite after Kavalier & Clay) follows the breakdown of poethead professor Grady Tripp's life during a literary conference at his university in Pittsburgh. The novel is surprisingly hilarious, inventive, and fun.

But how does this relate to me? Nope, I'm not a pot fiend or having an affair (you would need to be in an actual relationship for that ;). But I too found myself at an awkward crazy academic shindig earlier this weekend. As the English department's blog writer I had to cover a lecturer coming to campus. The lecture itself was fascinating, but what was even more intriguing was attending the reception afterward. It was an event for faculty and a few overwhelmed students (like yours truly) to hobnob with finger foods and an open bar (I probably could've imbibed, but some of my profs still have yet to grade my midterm, so I didn't want to booze it up). Of course, professors are on such a different level - rambling on about scholarship and their families, things that students wouldn't understand, that mostly I loitered around the appetizer table observing who the most popular professors were (the newest poet/creative writing prof was swarmed all night long), occasionally exchanging looks of awkwardness with one professor who felt more compelled to stuff himself with food rather than engage in conversation, and watching some funding dean mirthlessly hit on the (married with two children) chair of the department. Note to self, do not give wine to English faculty. It was amusing, but I couldn't help but glance at my watch.

Until I was saved by three seniors (who work the department too) were also in attendance. They broke down the tweeds and dress pants of the night in their vintage attire. Justin, with a blazer over his flannel to dress up the hipster street cred. Julie, with her pixie cut, Jackie O. scarf, and kelly green shift. And Sasha's fierce blunt cut platinum blonde hair. (I've officially given up on mocking hipsters because they are everywhere and frankly, I am one myself. I'm not about to start drinking PBR and obsessing over record players, but for Pete's Sake, I just compared my life to a Michael Chabon novel, we're in dangerous territory here!) They swept in with their glasses of wine and witticisms, complimenting me on the blog, my taste in literature (isn't it awesome when someone asks you dorky questions like that as if its as normal as asking about the weather!), and immediately deciding I would love their other friends thus inviting me out for the evening. Sadly, fun was stopped by my underage status, but Sasha promised to give me a call soon.
Now, I find myself torn between two worlds: the hipster English majors and the prepped out sailors! Oh no! Yet I find myself easily blending them, going out to the hipster Bible movie "Where the Wild Things Are" tonight with my preppy sailing teammate Hilly. It's amazing how within one weekend I may have found the solution to remedy my social woes of superficial flakey friends. Here are friendly, polite (read not competitive and bitchy), reliable (not so sure if this applies to the hipsters, but the sailing team is on top of everything!) kids with common interests for once. Maybe I can finally get a conversation off the ground with them unlike my current friends who would rather make snarky comments about "Top Chef" than really talk. Because as my friend from home who also goes to college in DC said over brunch this morning, "Why surround yourself with people you do not like? Life's to short to put up with people who treat you like crap." Amen.

song of the day: "Hold Up" by the Raconteurs (Jack White is so versatile, I love how this song picks up speed)